Thirty Days of Positivity, Puppies and Fucking Rainbows
When I was in high school, a good friend of mine (Dave) told a joke about Ernie who had a problem with offensive language. His teacher scolded the foul-mouthed Ernie and told him it was possible to tell a story without cursing. So young Ernie took a pen to paper and started writing about a rat. As the teacher read the paper, he brimmed with optimism that Ernie had taken to the scholar's advise. Until, the rat story elaborated...rats, big fucking rats with big (expletive about body parts of rats.)
My cursing has been higher than average of late (not quite in the Ernie zone) and was recently called out on social media by a distant cousin, "do you have to curse to get your point across?" I didn't take offense to her comment and simply replied that "if your body was destroyed like mine, you'd cuss too." I went on to thank my late grandfather Lyle who taught me how to cuss usually over a deck of cards like an offshoresman on leave ."
"Lyle, watch your language!," I recall Lela (my grandmother) accosting her husband going on to say, "he only cusses around men." My colorful language has got the better of me; like when my sister's friend didn't like me cursing in the South Stands of the Broncos old Mile High Stadium. Not super proud that my kids cuss like dad, but when used in the right circumstances, it can be an effective exclamation point or therapeutic release.
Back to my online scolding. after (what I thought was) a polite reply, the cousin "double-downed" on her comments basically telling me that I was wallowing in misery and had poor choices in reflecting my distress. This was "my page" and was expressing "my feelings," I replied online. Perhaps I took the wrong approach in telling her, "how dare you," and "I've got one other cuss word for you, Fuck off!" There were some final retorts thrown, but I decided things had gone too far so I simply blocked her.
Then I got to thinking..."am I wallowing in misery?" Yes, I've been sick for a year with no answers and no running (for essentially 7-9 months) which hasn't exactly made me Mary Poppins of cheer. Aside from my wife's unwavering support, I polled my twitter friends and was happy with a resounding positive response.
Kat: "Absolutely express yourself!! That is terrible of that person to say that to you. Toxic positivity is real. We shouldn't have to "act" happy for others if we're going through something awful!!"
Having said that, I realize a run blog without running and opening the pages each day to see no progress on my health (yes, I ended 2020 with a fever and delaying the opening of the bottle of Dom my wife got us to wash the taste of the 2020 dumpster fire out of our mouths.)
So, I won't quit cussing although I'll try and keep it proper and on a pitch count, but I am trying to start the year with more positive thinking and posts; although Kat has a point, I don't need to pretend or act happy or healthy when I'm not.
Mon: Don't panic. Monday's not so bad.
Tues: Travel Tuesday. Places my Garmin has located satellites and logged miles.
Wed: Hump Day or Run Tip Wednesday.
Thurs: #tbt Throwback Thursday.
Fri: Fun times or fun memory. As I'm starting this year and this post on a Friday, I'll start with the memory of my first triathlon with Liam. That day was magical.
Sat: Excursion or Date Night
Sun: Reflection and relaxation
Given all that, I won't give up on getting healthy and returning to running. I will push for more humor and lighter moments than (potentially) what's really going on with me and my health. But giving up cussing? Have I told you the one about the school lad named Ernie?"