The Monster Within

While I have focused on my Long Covid "healing journey," inevitably I get worn down. Ongoing symptoms (over 500 days,) accompanying occasional depression, and anxiety related to my medical, resulting life, and financial situation can get the best of me. I have used my art as an "outlet" and a "therapy of sorts" to express what I'm going through. 

There remains much mystery in the medical field around the "Covid Monster" that I've illustrated on these pages. Experts know little about Long Covid other than the myriad of symptoms that impacts up to a third of the thirty plus million (infected with Covid) in the US alone that are battling with these symptoms. That's upwards of eleven million people like me for those math majors trying to keep up with the class.


As I often do, I plucked some inspiration from film. Ridley Scott and the original "Alien" movie is my latest inspiration to try and express what's going on inside my chest. Perhaps extreme, but unless you've lived in my body, sometimes it doesn't feel too far off. My most often explanation to the docs is "like organs cooking inside my chest." No, it's not heartburn. It's not just burning feet and restless legs that lead to abysmal sleep; I've woke up (not the "woke" you're thinking of) thinking I'm having a heart attack or gulping for air.

Over the course of my journey, I've had doctors suggest it's "in my head" or are the new spasms in my chest, "hiccups?" Um, no. More like convulsions. Fortunately, I have experts at National Jewish Health and Mayo Clinic that have provided my eventual diagnosis as a Covid "long hauler" and are under their care. Unfortunately, for now that's merely trying to treat some of the symptoms or "brush fires" instead of the forest fire. 

I have become proficient at meditation with over fifty days in a row relying on my Muse meditation headband. 

With that, my latest video and oh yeah, we're not "out of the woods" with Covid. Get vaccinated and consult with your medical experts (not the ones affiliated with "Future Doctors of America," nut jobs like MTG, Lauren Bozo or any of those other Q-Tips. You're much better off with WHO and CDC. Additional support and resources for those suffering, I'd suggest Survivor Corps


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