World Class Smelly Run
1) I applied BodyGlide, but it clearly was not enough and wasn't applied in all the right places. I have sore bits that I can't write about as this is a family channel.
2) Quantity of sweat. I sweat beyond the ability of my clothes ability to wick or retain the sweat. This is what they call "dripping sweat." A tsunami of sweat. Even my Adidas Ultra Boost shoes were soaked.
3) Quality of the sweat. At the end of my run, my wicking clothes weren't wicking or repelling but I was. I went for a reward acai primo bowl at Jamba Juice (a-m-a-z-i-n-g by the way!) and I was grossing myself out with my own smell as I waited for my bowl.
4) I not only grossed myself out, but mothers were moving their small children away from me. Yes, I stunk that bad. #truestory
5) Flies were literally landing on me. No one else was swatting flies away. Yes, I stunk so bad, I attracted flies.
6) "Please pass the salt." I had the distinctive white salt stain on the brim of my cap and once my sweat dried, there was the telltale remnants of salt on my arms. Serious sweat action!
7) (updated:) You sweat so much, you fry your iPod. I just killed my second Nano touch which is brand new. I need a moisture sleeve for that thing!
How do you measure the quality of a great run?