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Thirty Days of Positivity, Puppies and Fucking Rainbows

When I was in high school, a good friend of mine (Dave) told a joke about Ernie who had a problem with offensive language. His teacher scolded the foul-mouthed Ernie and told him it was possible to tell a story without cursing. So young Ernie took a pen to paper and started writing about a rat. As the teacher read the paper, he brimmed with optimism that Ernie had taken to the scholar's advise. Until, the rat story elaborated...rats, big fucking rats with big (expletive about body parts of rats.) My cursing has been higher than average of late (not quite in the Ernie zone) and was recently called out on social media by a distant cousin, "do you have to curse to get your point across?" I didn't take offense to her comment and simply replied that "if your body was destroyed like mine, you'd cuss too." I went on to thank my late grandfather Lyle who taught me how to cuss usually over a deck of cards like an offshoresman on leave ." "Lyle, watch

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