Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Fifty Shades of Marathon Grey

Blog Disclaimer:  This post contains material which will make the next encounter with my parents, parents' friends, my kids (they never read this anyway,) and former youth pastor quite awkward.  If you fall in those categories or are easily offended, thank you for the page view, but please skip this one.  Not the first time that SBM has been offensive.  An SBM post on S/M.

Occasionally, I poke my head outside the running world and tune into society.  I was in Raleigh a few weeks ago and was discussing what to get my wife for her birthday.  A colleague of mine mentioned that at a neighborhood gathering, all the wives were talking about the book, "Fifty Shades of Grey."  He'd downloaded it to his Kindle and promptly got busted by his wife.  "But honey, I bought it for you."  That didn't go over very well.  What's all the fuss about with this NY Times #1 Best Seller #mommyporn

If you haven't heard about the book, you've been "living under a rock." Apparently, all the rage in suburbia here in the US, Fifty Shades of Grey is about bad boy Christian Grey.  Half perfect (rich, handsome, fit,) and half messed up.  Christian is incapable of having a "normal" relationship and is a hardcore sadomasochist.  Didn't we get a spanking as a kid for each year?  I decided that a book about spanking was a  perfect birthday gift along with a couple other traditional gifts; shoes, and perfume.

Curiousity got the better of me, and I started reading (for pure research purposes) about Mr. Grey and realized he must be a marathon runner.  Why?  My top ten reasons why marathon running is like Fifty Shades of Grey.

1)  According to dictionary.com, a sadomachochist is someone who likes to inflict pain or one who derives pleasure from pain.  Training is tough. You know that miles 21-26.2 of a race will have a healthy dose of pain, yet we love the sport.  In fact, you could say marathoners actually pay for pain.
2)  Both are obsessions. 
3)  Both take up a lot of real estate.  He has a whole room dedicated to his sport.  I merely have a part of my closet and the trunk of my car dedicated to mine.
3)  Sore nipples.
4)  No doubt, a lot of sweating going on with both.
5)  Shortness of breath.  Chafing.
6)  We both spend most of our time thinking about it, and not enough time doing it.
7)  Lots of "toys."
8)  Plenty of people label both as "unhealthy" yet those that indulge, defend them as healthy lifestyles.
9)  Lots of lube or Body Glide.
10) "Thank you sir, may I have another?"  At some point during the process, we swear that we'll never do it again. We always come back for more.

Mr. Grey is clearly a marathon runner as we both derive pleasure from this often painful sport.  You might say, we are a slave to the sport.

5 comments:

  1. Hahahahah I havent read the book yet and know little about it but this made me laugh :)

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  2. I just find it amusing that even as you read "mommy porn", you couldnt keep running out of your head

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  3. Oh my... Spike was just talking to me about this book and wondering why I haven't picked it up yet since all the chicks at his work were going on and on about it! I don't know if this quite my cup of tea or not but maybe I'll read it just to decide if you are right in comparing it to the marathon! LOL!

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  4. Read all three books in two days, and love your comparisons!!

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