Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Movember Magic Carpet Ride

Movember; the hairy month before December.

November has turned into a free reign month where a man can grow it out any way he wants all for a good cause. Have an "uptight" white collar job and have never been able to grow a pair of mutten chops? Lambchops, goatee, pencil thin, or barbershop full bush style? Well go right ahead.

Going back to college, I tried to grow a mustache, but my face hair factory wasn't producing yet. I had a fraternity brother that convinced me that if I put cod liver oil on my lip, something would grow. It doesn't work, but it does exacerbate a teenager's acne problem. Don't try it.

I started the month on a bet and have continued to grow out my red mane all for a good cause. #Movember Movember is the month where men grow out their facial hair to help money and awareness for cancer. Women's biggest threat is breast cancer and men's is prostate. While men can get the former, women don't have the later.

What can you do? No...this is not me pandering for money for a good cause, but asking everyone what they can do to help put a dent in these deadly hydras.

One area where you can help is by self screening. I'll resist all the double entendres regarding breast examinations and will leave it "I'm a fan." I personally hit the age this year where the colonoscopy was recommended. I started the year by losing an old work colleague, Rob Pullen, to cancer. He died from this deadly disease much too young at the age of 50. When I read his story along with my boss' wife unexpectantly getting diagnosed with cancer, I promptly signed up for the test. I must say, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Without treading on TMI (too much information,) the preparation the 24 hours before was far worse than the test. I'll spare you the details on that.

The day of? Outside of being freaked out and my wife making good-natured fun of my plight,  I also tried to make light of the situation. I told my wife that I'd hoped for a young female Dr. vs. some old hairy guy violating me. She laughed. As I was getting ready for the ole "Moon River" exam,* I was going through the clipboard questions with the nurse. She couldn't find her chair and I started literally laughing. The "out of place" laughter prompted the nurse to ask me, "what is so funny?" I couldn't resist sharing that it seemed
ironic that she "lost her stool" in this place. She laughed.

The procedure itself was a guilt-free ride on Mr. Toad's Wild ride as they administered the "Michael Jackson Drug," Propofol. May the "king of pop" rest in peace, but I have to say I understood why he got hooked on that stuff. I didn't get to four Mississippi and it was "good night Irene." Talk about some fantastic (albeit drug-induced) sleep. As "Cheech and Chong" used to say, this was some good sh*t. It literally took all the pain away and put me in a happy place.

The only issue I had was that they turned off the gas a bit too early and I seemed to recall waking up when they weren't quite done and watching a movie on T.V. This wasn't a movie you'd want to watch. Fuzzy images of the female Dr. and nurse came into view. It felt a bit like the Seinfeld episode where Jerry went to the dentist and he woke up with blurry images of the dentist and assistant taking a "toke" off the aspirator while putting their clothes back on. Jerry felt violated and I did too, yet I was the only one with my clothes off.

If you've done your screening or you're not a candidate, you can do your part as a runner by raising money through a race. There are a number of races that either sell out early or are tough to get into(Boston, New York, Chicago,) and the charity route is a great option. I raised money for "Team in Training" for one of my marathons and must say that I found it to be more rewarding than the race itself. Talk about a "win-win" situation.

Aside from raising money for a marathon, I also have my annual head shaving rite of passage prior to my Spring marathon. Our local pub promotes St. Baldricks right around St. Patricks Day.  I clip it all off all for a good cause raising money and awarenesss for children's cancer. I benefit as I feel mentally aerodynamic as I approach my race. If I shaved my legs once for a race (never again,) why not my head? Liberating and built for speed at the same time...I'd recommend it.

Finally, I've proven that no topic is untouchable here at SeekingBostonMarathon, but I won't post Katie Couric's colon video, or mine. I hopefully made you think about your screening, giving back perhaps by raising money for a race, or either shaving your head or growing a lip carpet all for a good cause. Both the screening and the fund raising are not as tough as they sound and one even gives you a "magic carpet ride."

If none of these options apply to you, you can contribute to my Movember fund raising page here.

* See Fletch movie where Chevy Chase visits the Dr. and undergoes a prostate exam..."you using the whole fist there Doc?") You can tell, I'm of the right age to undergo these tests by at least three 80's references.

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