Wednesday, June 10, 2015

A Runner Who Can't Run is No Fun

A runner who can't run is no fun.

Sore in the hips.
Sore in the buns.
This is no fun for the runner that runs.
Sore buns
No runs

Runners with the runs is more fun than a runner who cannot run.

Running p.t. is all I do
Not fun for me, not fun for you
Tighten my buns
Stretch my hips
I ran today, does not pass my lips
Hips, lips, this is the shits.
This does pass my lips

I get to sleep in as there is no run
No run in the sun, no run is no fun
My glutes are so tight with all the work
A perk of the work, the drills I work
So tight is my butt
I can open a bottle
Between my cheeks
Cap off the bottle

I can crack a walnut with my butt
Yes, I'm working that hard
My glutes are cut

I can swim
I can ride
I can roll with the tide
I pretend I don't care
With me not running
This is really quite rare

Not on the road
Not on the trail
No, "hey there's a cloud"
"Hey there are some ducks!"
Without runs, this totally sucks.


*Dr. Seuss and the Cat in the Hat Are Copyright protected Images of Dr. Seuss. This parody is meant for fun, not profit.

4 comments:

  1. Yep, even being able to open a bottle with your buns isn't as good as going on runs... 😜

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  2. Sorry you can't run right now, that sucks. But this is great! :) Hope you're back to it soon.

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  3. Haha! Though I'm not sure I can imagine Dr. Seuss saying "this is the shits." :-)

    Sorry you're injured.

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  4. Ha ha ha! This made me laugh.
    I hope you heal up soon so you can get back out there!

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Average guy w/ an above average appetite for marathon racing and triathlons. Ran my 5th Boston in '15. 3:21, 1:29, 19:21 PR;full/half/5K Opinions & wit are mine