I Can See the Gym From my House
SBM: Nice to meet you Sarah.
SP: You betcha! Thanks for waiting for me. That traffic was crazier than elk during mating season.
SBM: No problem. I imagine times are busy for you with the election going on, Bristol back on "Dancing with the Stars" and writing a book on fitness. I'd like to hear more about it. I understand there's a chapter on marathon training?
SP: You're darn tootin!
SBM: That's ironic. Paul Ryan is a marathon runner. What do you think of Paul Ryan as a candidate and as a runner?
SP: He's quite the fella, I tell ya. That smile and those big muscles of his...ya know he's a hunter too. He can run 25.2 miles in a marathon and go out that weekend and catch himself some dinner. He's got my vote!
SBM: 25.2?...uh...let's move on. What training routines do you recommend, Yasso's, Fartlek intervals?
SP: Well yahoo to you too there skinny fella! Ya know after a couple of kiddo's it's kinda tough not to let out a little air once in a while when you're out there exerting yourself and all. What was the question?
SBM: Ooookay. Who do you look up to...who's your role model; Shalene Flanagan, Kara Goucher?
SP: I loooove Kara. She's such a spunky little thing. I was so glad she finally got the Oscar for "The Blind Side" after Jesse two-timed her with that two bit tattoo'ed hussy. Now there's some "what goes around come back around" for ya!
SP: With this hair honey, I stick with my trusty blow dryer. My mother used rollers.
SBM: During a run, do you prefer goo or do you prefer "Shot Bloks?"
SP: Sure, I'll take a shot, make mine a "Jack."
SBM: Alright..waiter...could you give Ms. Palin another? Sarah, what's your next race?
SP: I'll race ya with the next round of Jacks if you set aside that frilly glass of grape juice. You might gain a little weight and get some hair on your chest if ya drank a man's drink.
SBM: Alright. Waiter. Make that two and make mine a double. Sarah, I meant what's your next running
SP: Paul's running the race. Ole Mitt couldn't quite keep up with this marathon "maverick!"
SBM: (As the next round of drinks arrive.) Wonderful. Okay "Cannonball!," last one done with this round buys dinner.